07. Coach, Don’t Manage
Coach, Don’t Manage
Article 7 | You Were Made for So Much More Than This
Ask. Don’t take over.
One of the greatest gifts you can give a new leader is decades of experience.
One of the greatest temptations is to make every decision for them.
Many of us have spent a lifetime supervising employees, raising families, solving problems, and being the person others turn to for answers.
Then we meet someone who is beginning to make disciples.
We see what needs fixing. We know what we would do. Before long, we are planning their meetings, choosing their next steps, and expecting them to report back.
We intended to help them grow.
Instead, we may be teaching them to wait for our instructions.
A movement needs leaders who can follow Jesus and equip others to do the same. Our coaching should help them become those leaders.
Help them discover their next step
Jesus often asked questions:
“What do you want me to do for you?”
“Who do you say that I am?”
“Why are you afraid?”
He also taught, demonstrated, corrected, and sent His disciples out to practice. His questions helped bring their faith, understanding, and motives into the open.
We can learn from that.
When a leader describes a challenge, resist the urge to answer before you understand.
Ask:
“What is happening?”
“What does the Bible teach about this?”
“What do you sense God is asking you to do?”
Then listen long enough to hear the answer.
You may discover that God is already helping them see a faithful next step. They need encouragement to take it.
What coaching can look like
Imagine a leader tells you, “Our group enjoys the Bible discussions, but nobody is sharing Jesus with anyone else.”
You could immediately prescribe a program.
Or you could ask:
“What have you discovered together about sharing Jesus?”
“Who could you help practice telling their story this week?”
“What could you do at your next gathering to help everyone take one step?”
Give them room to think.
Perhaps they decide to invite each person to name someone they are praying for, practice a simple testimony together, and share what happened at the next meeting.
Now they have a step they understand and can help others practice.
When you speak again, ask how it went. Celebrate obedience. Discuss what was difficult. Pray together.
That is meaningful work you can do from your living room.
Respect the people God has entrusted to them
When you coach someone in another culture, remember that they live among people whose language, relationships, pressures, and customs you may barely understand.
Ask them to explain.
“What would that look like in your community?”
“How would a family there respond?”
“What might I be missing?”
Your experience matters. So does theirs.
Keep bringing the conversation back to Scripture, prayer, obedience, and helping others follow Jesus.
Paul told Timothy:
“The things which you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit the same things to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”
2 Timothy 2:2 WEB
Notice the destination: people who can teach others also.
Coach with that future in view. Help a leader develop the confidence and ability to help another leader.
You still have something valuable to give
You do not have to travel overseas to encourage someone who is making disciples.
You can listen carefully.
You can ask a question that helps them think.
You can pray when they are discouraged, celebrate when they obey, and help them learn from a difficult week.
There will be times to offer advice, demonstrate a skill, or address something that conflicts with Scripture. Ask permission to share what you have learned, explain it simply, and help them put it into practice.
Give generously from your experience, and leave room for them to exercise theirs.
Your step this week
In your next conversation with someone you are helping, practice asking these three questions:
1. What did you learn from the Bible this week?
2. What will you do about it?
3. Who will you share it with?
Listen without rushing to fill the silence. Ask a follow-up question. Pray together.
Then arrange a time to hear what happened.
Ask. Don’t take over.
Someone you encourage today may become the person who helps many others follow Jesus.
We were made for more.
Want to go further?
All ten Zúme discipleship lessons are on my site, free, with the video and the same teaching notes I use when I train leaders in person. Take them on your own, take them with a few friends, or join me live on Zoom and I will teach them to you face to face. When you finish, tell me and I will coach you personally.
Terry Ruff
Ordinary People. Extraordinary Movements.
Your gift would be tax deductible and overseen by Northside Christian Church, our sending church. There are many we coach that could use encouragement in small ways to accomplish great things.
Watch it happen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqEBLWw4tQM